Hello,
Overstimulated, tired, frazzled, busy, stressed….These are all states that come with the territory when living in Silicon Valley and/or raising kids. So,how do we learn to be the “CALM” in the center of all the activity? The moments when we are able to act from this calm and joyful place are often the best moments for ourselves, and with our children. Try this:
S T O P–Stop, Take a breath, Observe, Plan from calmness.
Often in the midst of our chaos and juggling we start feeling stressed because things aren’t going according to planned, or we simply feel overwhelmed by the sheer length of our “To Do” list. When you find yourself clenching your jaw, STOP for a moment. Even just pausing can change our demeanor. Take even just one deep breath.Breathing deeply can help us literally slow down by changing our body’s physical reaction to stress. Now, observe what is happening inside yourself, then around you. It helps me to pretend I am a scientist and observing an experiment. One of the tricks I use is to get out of my thoughts about how I may be late to work (insert your own story here) and just observe the obvious. “Oh, my jaw is clenched right now”. Turning to what is ACTUALLY happening and getting out of your own story about the situation can help take away it’s power. Now that you’ve taken a few breathes and observed what’s happening, it’s time to move forward. Come up with a simple plan in the moment. Sometimes the plan is to give up the original plan all together. In this instance, I’m not talking about problem solving. Think much simpler. What’s the one tiny thing to get you to the next moment? Maybe it’s smiling, or making a phone call. Whatever the case may be, you are acting from a place of calmness. Not only will you feel it, but so will those around you. So, next time you find yourself feeling frazzled don’t forget to S T O P. This is something you can do in any moment, no equipment or really much time required.
To talk more about and experiment with ways to find our center in the midst of all we do (Any other topics also welcome) Please feel free to join one of my groups, or schedule an individual appointment. Call 408-680-8114 with any questions.
Julia Mudarri, LMFT